Stop The Hate: 5 Steps to Loving Yourself

hi haters scrabble tiles on white surface

We must stop the hate! The hate we feel towards ourselves will help stop the hate we feel towards others.  We often project to the world our inner feelings.  If we are feeling disgusted, disappointed, misguided towards ourselves we will treat others the same. The answer is LOVE, love towards yourself and others.  I know this seems like the trendy, in thing, that these news kids are talking about or trying to bring back from the 70’s, self-love, tsk!!

Hear me when I say this is the way to attracting and accepting happiness and most importantly joy into your life.  We spend so much time in a space of self-deprecation, self-criticizism and self-loathing that self-love sounds stupid and almost impossible.  Let me tell you it is neither of these things.  Here are a few ways you can start this self-love journey.

Be kind to yourself and others

You must learn to be kind to yourself and in turn you will be kinder to others.  We treat others the way we feel about ourselves.  Stop the judgement on yourself and your judgement of others will not show up anymore.

Be of Service

Most people feel good when they do for others.  We are taught to be of service to others but not are taught very well to be of service to ourselves.  The only way to be in full service to other and not feel depleted is by self-care.  Taking care of yourself, giving yourself a break, permission to rest and have fun is how you are of service to yourself.  In turn, you will be so much more genuine and effective when being of service to others.

Nurture Your Body

Love your body no matter what you think it looks like. Nurturing our body is not just about eating right or exercising, don’t get me wrong, these things are extremely important.  Equally as important, is accepting your body.  Acceptance makes room for unconditional love. If you do not love your body for what it does for you, helps you move, create, dance etc., no matter how much you eat right or exercise, you will never be happy in your body

Connect with Others

If you are reading this and you are an introvert, your initial reaction will be to disagree with this step, just hear me out.  We are social beings, we need to be around others.  Just because you may be an introvert does not mean that you do not need a tribe.  Your tribe may just be smaller than an extrovert.  If you are like me, an ambivert, likes to be around others but when you have had enough it is time to be alone in order to recharge.  The differences between intro and extroverts is they way they “recharge and process.” Extroverts need other people around them to recharge and process, they get their energy from being around others.  Introverts can be around other people but have limitations on time spent and amount of people that time is spent with.  They need quiet time to process and recharge. My point is we all need connections to others to thrive, learn about ourselves in order to better love ourselves. When you have found people who can help you do this, you have found your tribe.

All Parts are Welcomed

We all have different parts of us, those parts make us who we are.  These parts get created in different stages of our lives through different experiences.  There could be the 3-year-old little child who is scared and needs reassurance because they did not get it at that age.  There could be the angry 12-year-old pre-adolescent who feels super confident in their ability to play the guitar because that was the first time anyone complimented their musical skills.  All parts of us are there for a reason, they are part of us.  We must learn to love and accept all parts of us, the moment we do that, the easier it will be to works towards a balanced life.  We will no longer be fighting internally with ourselves, we learn to love ourselves wholeheartedly giving us the ability to better love others the with our whole hearts.

“The sum of its parts is greater than the whole”, means that we are better together.  All our parts “good and bad” light and dark make us who we uniquely are as individuals.  This is also true for humanity.  All of us, as unique as we are individually are stronger and better working together than alone.

If you want to learn more or embark of your self love journey a little further, got to my new web site www.healingheartswhole.com and sign up for more information.

 

Peace, Love and Light,

Jessica Alejandro, LMFT

For psychotherapy (individual and couples) http://www.4wholehearthealing.com

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